Dear *SniperHolic

As I speak Dempsey is hitting Doctor Richtofen in the face with a shovel. I’m so sorry to tell you this, I never intended it to be this way because last night you were sleeping naked in the Mystery Box with Takeo. Fighting with Takeo has been very hard indeed. For example, yesterday when Dempsey slapped my ass I couldn’t believe that Doctor Maxis once dated a man. Doctor Richtofen wants to let you know that he has always loved you but feels dancing naked in the teleporter is the best answer. Maybe one day when we're in our 60's we’ll go and take Nikolai to dinner with the queen. I hope you get this letter because Takeo is now a prostitute.

Just please try to understand that the universe hates you.

Clann-an-Dragain

P.S I forgot to mention that Takeo is now an internet meme.


//

Now you've read the letter the objective is to copy and paste the base, read the next set of questions and fill the gaps!

The base:

Dear :deviant’s name:

As I speak 1 is 2. I’m 3 to tell you this, I 4 be this way because last night you were 5. 6 with 7 has been very hard indeed. For example, yesterday when 8 I couldn’t believe that 9. 10 wants to let you know that 11 but feels 12 is the best answer. Maybe one day when 13 we’ll go and 14. I hope you get this letter because 15 is 16.

Just please try to understand that 17.

:yourusername:

P.S I forgot to mention that 18 .

The Questions!

1) Select the current day of the week.
Monday – Doctor Richtofen
Tuesday – Dempsey
Wednesday – Doctor Maxis
Thursday – Samantha
Friday – Takeo
Saturday – Nikolai
Sunday – A Zombie

2) Pick a favourite colour-
Pink – poking my face with a stick.
Blue- hitting Doctor Richtofen in the face with a shovel (replace himself if you're writing this on monday or it makes no sense! xD)
Red- confessing his/her/its love for Takeo.
Orange- taking a dump in Dempsey’s boots.
Purple- cooking me dinner.
Green- pretending to be MC Hammer.
Yellow- using your credit card on Ebay.
Other- buying Country Western hits on Itunes.

3) Which pudding do you prefer?
Ice cream- overjoyed
Pie- Extremely disappointed
Cheesecake- so sorry
Fruit Salad- Quite surprised
Cake- scared
None/other- alarmed

4) Pick a prefered Artist out of this random list-
Eminem – Always intended it to
Lady Gaga- felt it would
The Gorillaz - Never intended it to
None/Other- Lol’d when I heard it would

5) Your favourite season is...
Winter- drinking vodka with Nikolai.
Spring- humping a zombie
Summer- Chewing Dempsey’s toenails.
Autumn- sleeping naked inside the Mystery Box

6) Pick the most disgusting thing-
Having to eat Dog Food- Living in a Cardboard Box
Spider- Sharing a room
Maggots- Dancing as a stripper
Tredding on a used Condom barefoot- Fighting
Old dog poo- Taking anger management classes
Hair in your food- Adopting orthaned kitties
A Nose pick- Killing voldemort

7) Pick a favourite fast food restaurant-
Pizza hut- Doctor Maxis
Burger King- Nikolai
KFC- Doctor Richtofen
Mcdonalds- Dempsey
Taco Bell- Takeo
Subway- A Zombie
Neither/other- Samantha

8)Your eye colour is...
Green- Dempsey slapped my ass
Blue- Takeo had a mental breakdown
Brown- Nikolai performed a piece of poetry
Grey- Richtofen licked the wall
Other- A zombie fell from the sky

9)Pick a favourite type of weather-
Heatwave- Rebecca Black released a new single called ‘Saturday’.
Snow- Nikolai was secretly a woman the whole time.
Thunderstorm- the zombies ordered a takeaway from China Town.
Windy- we’d run out of Chocolate pudding at 4AM in the morning.
Sunny with a breeze- Doctor Maxis once dated a man.

10) Pick a city-
New York- Dempsey
London- A Zombie
Tokyo – Takeo
Moscow- Nikolai
Berlin- Doctor Richtofen
Rome- Samantha
Other- Sgt Reznov’s Ghost

11)The colour of your underwear-
Black- he/she/it has always loved you
Red- pretending to be a dinosaur is considered normal in Soviet Russia
Yellow- Your Black Ops disk exploded
White- he/she/it feels you should get married to Dempsey
Other- he/she/it stares at your photo all night

12) A favourite style of music-
Rock- chillin’ with the zombies
Pop- cuddling Takeo
Electro- Pushing Nikolai out a window
Rap- dressing up as a playboy bunny in leather with Richtofen
Classical- becoming a nun
Indie- working at Burger King
Other- dancing naked in the Teleporter

13)Your hair colour is...
Blonde- we’re in our 60’s
Brown- Takeo buys a unicorn
Red- Aliens invade the earth
Ginger- Dempsey becomes a famous rapper
Other- the apocalypse begins

14) Pick a favourite holiday-
Christmas- do some sky diving with Hitler
Halloween- take Nikolai to dinner with the queen.
Easter- become stranded at sea with nothing to eat but an endless supply of potatoes.
Other- buy a key to the playboy mansion.

15) The colour of the Shirt you're wearing-
Red- Doctor Richtofen
White- Dempsey
Blue- Nikolai
Yellow – Doctor Maxis
Purple- A zombie
Logo- Samantha
Patterned/other- Takeo

16) Pick a favourite program-
Photoshop- dead.
Mircosoft office- flying in the sky.
Itunes- now a prostitute.
Movie maker- living in the whitehouse.
Other- being attacked by Zombies.

17) Pick a favourite sport-
Baseball- Dempsey thinks you smell really bad.
Swimming- Takeo sleeps naked under your bed.
Martial Arts- your toes make Doctor Richtofen cry.
Basketball/netball/volley ball- you’re being watched by a zombie right now.
Running/track- it would never work out because Nikolai hates your eyebrows.
Gym- you’re forever alone.
Other- the universe hates you.

18) Pick a country/region you'd like to visit this year-
England- Takeo is now an internet meme.
The USA- Doctor Richtofen watches you in the shower.
Spain- Nikolai asked me out on a date.
Italy- Doctor Maxis thinks you should be a fashion model.
The Bahamas – A zombie just farted.
Asia- Dempsey watches Barney in his spare time.
Other- the cake is a lie.

//

...I love these way too much.